Not "alone" anymore

My life went on pretty much as usual. I was busy with studies at the University, reading my esoteric books, and occasionally spending time visiting friends. And occupied with these activities, I almost had forgotten the extraordinary experience in Elke and Peter’s living room. 
    But one evening at home, feeling bored, a surprising thought came to mind, If Elke could call her dead uncle, why should I not try to contact my own dead relatives?
    So, I began to make preparations for such a session. I took a big sheet of paper out of my wardrobe, built a mimi-table with a small pencil at one corner, and put it all on the kitchen table. Then I sat down, put my hand on the mini-table and waited, what would happen.
     It may have been one or two minutes, when suddenly the mini-table started to move. After a few seconds I could read on the big sheet paper, Hello_ Heiner_here_is_Uncle_Willi”  I was thrilled!

Fifteen minutes later, my own first contact with the "invisible world" had ended. Not only had I chatted with "Uncle Willi", but "Aunt Mary" had joined in as well! And they had written that there were other "relatives" with them such as my dead grandfather and “Uncle Fritz”, a very beloved one. I felt great inner satisfaction and joy!
It was late at night now, but bursting with excitement, I had to share this experience with someone. So I took my bicycle and rode over to a friend’s house.
   When he opened the door and saw me, he gazed at me with big eyes and great astonishment, "You? It`s so late! What’s happened?"  "Hello, Michael! Don’t ask. Just come with me. I want to show you something very important!"
    He tried to get more out of me, but I only said, "It’s a surprise!" So, some minutes later we rode back to my flat.

                       

                                          

The big sheet of paper laid in front of us with that mini-table situated on it. I said to Michael, "So, let’s have a talk with my uncle!" First he stared at me with disbelief, but then he started to laugh, "You’re joking, aren’t you?"

    Ten minutes later he said repeatedly with an embarrassed laugh and blushed cheeks, "Unbelievable! This is not possible! I can’t believe it!" But the proof was laying right there in front of us! He had heard my questions to the "relatives" and there, written on that sheet of paper, were their perfectly reasonable answers. "Unbelievable!" he said again at last.

Next day, meeting me by chance in a bistro, we spoke again about that event. He was still affected. “Really, Heiner,” he said, “I would never have believed it without seeing it!” I smiled: “OK, we can do it again!”

   Immediately, his mien changed and he looked down to earth and then back at me, "Okay!" he said, "It had worked! But listen, I will never do it again!" Slightly irritated I looked him in the eye and said, "So, why not?" After a pause he said in a low voice, “You want an honest answer? I am afraid of it!"

When Michael had left the bistro soon afterwards, I had asked myself, What does he fear? I really could not understand it. What is wrong with talking to relatives? OK, it`s not the normal way. But a real contact, anyway! So what?

    My thoughts went back to the childhood. On the day my parents came to fetch me out of “paradise”, my meagre belongings were packed away in my stepfather’s car and two minutes later we pulled out of the driveway. I could see Uncle Willi and Aunt Mary standing side by side waving goodbye to me. A few seconds later the car turned the corner and my paradise was gone from sight.

   Aunt Mary had said, "Perhaps you can come back next year." But I foresaw that it was not to be. And indeed, I never did come back to that beautiful place with all those wonderful fruit trees, the deers in the morning and evening, Uncle`s garden and the distinctive smell of the chicken stable.

    The car had not gone back to my grandparents’ home, but to another town. An hour later I had stood in a completely unknown flat. My new stepfather had smiled: "So, Heiner, that’s our new home. Do you like it?"  He had taken me to a room with a nice looking furniture set and had said to me: "This is your room!"

   So in the next years, life didn’t seem so bad. I liked going to school and did very well there. Furthermore, in my neighbourhood there were some guys of my age with whom I eventually became good friends. We often played football, hide and seek, and other childhood games, as well as, exploring the surrounding hills and forests.

    Nevertheless, it became never the same as before. My parents educated me very strictly wanting to make me fit for life. But it hadn`t worked on the long run. At the age of thirteen I became more and more unhappy and rebellious. I almost completely lost interest in school and later, I began more and more to go on my own ways. Spending time with dubious friends, drinking alcohol and playing cards for money, I came on a downwards spiral.

     Failing in my final school exams I had thought that I would have reached the bottom of the spiral. But it wasn`t so! Nine month of military service became a complete disaster with almost ending in prison. Now, I had reached the bottom of the spiral.

  Then, back from military service, the relationship with my parents began to improve and began to find a new direction in life. A more harmonious state of mind followed in the subsequent year with some success in chess, a girl`s love, and studies.

    So, for a while things went a little bit better. But then at age 24 another crisis arose. My studies were interrupted, I lost my flat, followed by some hard month with almost no money. This time it was my stepfather who helped me out of it.

   After that, I was determined to live a "normal" life as others do. But you already know how it went after that. At 27 I was again at a low and had asked myself almost desperately: Where can I find happiness in life again? 

And now, after 20 years, thanks to Elke, I had come again in contact with my beloved relatives from my "happiest time" in childhood by "looking behind the curtain". So why on earth should I stop it? I am not alone anymore! Perhaps with their help I will find happiness again! Who knows?

    I paid my bill and left the bistro.