There
was a lot of commotion next morning in the school. Noises and cheerful
laughter could be heard from outside. Meanwhile in lour classroom some
sat on their sleeping bags, reading their Bibles. Others arranged their
personal affairs or had a small breakfast.
Mike
came up to me, "Morning, Heiner! Did you sleep well?” I nodded and
said, “Hello,Mike! Yes, everything was fine. No further attack! Thanks
for your help!”
He
changed the theme, ”Uli and me are going to Jesushouse now for
breakfast. You can come with us, if you like!" I thought it over for a
moment, then I answered, "No,thanks, but I would like to have some time
for myself."
"Okay",
he said, "I understand. But Jesushouse will be open all day. So, you
can go there later. It is a good place where you will be among other
Christains, who can help you if necessary."
“You
will not be there?" I asked. "No, Uli and me will be in town for
mission! So we shall meet again tonight here in school, if you
like."Okay ", I said, "I will be here
The next two days I spent most of my time in the Jesus-house. Everything
was new and exciting for me. Many extraordinary things happened in that
time. One of them was the encounter with Thomas.
On
the afternoon of the second day I had sat down in a corner of the
tea-room to relax. I had closed my eyes for a while, when suddenly
someone touched my arm.
I
opened my eyes and saw a young, slim man standing in front of me.
“Hello”, he said with a smile, “I`m Thomas, the doorkeeper from
yesterday, who let you in.” Now I recognized him and I smiled back,
“Yes, I remember! Please, sit down!” I offered him a place beside me.
Thomas
sat down and said: “You have become a Christian, I have heard!” “Yes,
indeed, but who told you?” He laughed: “Well, that´s not a secret in
Jesus-house! I have heard it several times! But I didn`t know the person
to the story. Now, someone showed me you sitting here!”
The
next half hour I told him my story with all the esoteric and occult
things, the announcement of Jürgen`s death and my convertion. “By the
way,” I said,” thank you very much that you have let me into Jesushouse.
I don`t know what would have happened if you wouldn`t have done so!”
Suddenly
he became very serious. “Yes,” he said,” this was a strange thing. Ten
minutes before you came I suddenly got a strong inner impuls to replace
one of the doorkeepers on duty. I felt that this impuls came from God,
and I was obedient.”
I
looked ar him with surprise. “Yes,” he said,”and then you came. We had
strict orders to let no one in. And normally we wouldn`t have let you
in, although you were very obstinant! But suddenly I had again that
strong impuls. An inner voice said to me: Let him in! And so I did.”
“So,
God gave you the order to let me in?” I asked amazed. “Yes”, he said,
“and you can be sure that the doorkeeper, whom I have replaced, wouldn`t
have let you in!” He laughed: “Obviously your time had come and God was
decided to save you!”
I
was really touched. “Wow, that`s called God`s grace, I think!?” “Yes!”
,he said, “ have you already confessed your sins?” Again I looked with
surprise at him: “Confessed my sins? I have prayed with Mike and Uli.”
“Well,
that`s not enough!”, he said, “ you should speak with the pastor of
Jesus-house. He is just now in his bureau. If you like, I ask him for a
meeting.”
I
was not really convinced, but I said: “Okay, if you think that this is
necessary, please ask him.” And so Thomas left me to ask the pastor.
Ten
minutes later I was sitting in the pastor`s bureau. The pastor, two
elder and Thomas listened to my story. When I had finished, the pastor
said: “Well, Heiner, you have done evil things. Astrology, Tarot and
Spiritism are really great sins in God`s eyes.” He read a bible vers
according to this theme.
“So, you are here to confess these things. Right?”, he continued. “Yes, for sure!”, I answered. “Then let us pray,” he said.
And
so I confessed my esoteric and occult sins in a prayer, and then the
pastor and three others prayed for me, with their hands on my head and
shoulders. A deep warmth streamed through my body. Finally the Pastor
said. “And so we speak out God`s forgiveness above you, Heiner! Amen!”
All
four smiled and hugged me, and I felt as if a big burden had been taken
from my shoulders. I felt so light and peaceful as never before in my
life. “Thank you all for your help,” I said and then I left with Thomas
the Pastor`s bureau.
The
Church days passed and on Sunday the school was no longer a sleeping
place for me. All had to go back to their hometowns and it was time to
say good bye to Mike and Uli.
I
thanked them heartily for all that they had done for me and they gave
me some last good advice and wishes for my future. "Keep faith in God
and stay close to Jesushouse," Mike said, "the people there can help you
to grow in faith!" Last handshakes and embraces, then I left the school.
On
the way to my bicycle I suddenly felt exhausted and lonesome. But what a
wonderful time laid behind me. Everything had changed. Three days ago I
had been in big trouble and now I was a Christian!
Soon after midday I arrived at my flat. I
felt a little bit uneasy, but then I walked in decisively. Everything
seemed to be normal. I relaxed and threw my sleeping bag into a corner.
"Time for a nap." I thought and laid down on the sofa.
Within
two minutes, the doorbell suddenly rang. "Who is that?" I asked myself
with amazement. But then I stood up, went over and used the buzzer. Some
moments later I opened the door.
In
front of me stood Jürgen, smiling and saying, "Hello!" "Hello," I said
with an inviting gesture, "come in! There is much good news!"
End
We
reached the school camp long after midnight. When we walked through the
schoolyard only a few lights inside the huge building were visible.
"Some hundred youngsters are staying here for the night!" Uli told me.
I
was surprised: “Some hundred youngsters?”, I repeated. “Yes!
Volunteers!”, he said, “ They are coming from all over the world, giving
their time to Jesus and doing mission work here during the Church-days
in Dusseldorf!
“They are part of a worldwide organization called "Youth With A Mission" (YWAM),” Mike added, “ and Uli and I are leaders in it.
In
the building we went through a number of floors and at last we came to a
classroom "This is our leader room," Mike told me. "We have to be very
quiet! Presumably they all are already sleeping."
Actually
they were.. Mike and Uli walked over to their sleeping bags, and I put
my sleeping bag next on a free spot in the middle of the room. A man,
who had woken up, was watching me. "Hello," I said in a friendly manner.
When I was also settled in my own sleeping bag, I fell asleep almost instantaneously.
After
perhaps an hour, I woke up. It was very quiet in the classroom and
moonlight was streaming in through the large glass windows. I felt
vigilant and very wary in my mind. Suddenly, a clear command came into
my head. "Go into the toilet!"
I was slightly shocked about hearing that voice but didn’t hesitate. Slowly I got out of my sleeping bag. Then I walked out and searched for the toilet.
When I walked around the corner of the long floor there was a boy`s room. I opened the door and went inside.
For
some seconds I stood there in the middle of the toilet, undecidedly
what to do next. Then again, I heard that voice in my head: "Turn
around!"
Obediently I turned around and immediately my eyes fixed some written words on the wall in front of me
Willi is greeting you!
For
a moment I felt like loosing the ground. These were the same words
“Uncle Willi” often had used at the beginning or end of the “table
sessions”.
They are here!, I thought with upcoming panic. Keep calm! You belong now to Jesus. They have no power over you!, was my next thought.So, I left the toilette and went back into the classroom.
I
laid down again and tried to go back to sleep. But it was impossible.
Too many thoughts went through my mind. How was it possible that this
sentence of all had been written on the wall? Had the demons it written
by themselves? And how shocking that they obviously had had still the
power to lead me to this spot! Or was there another explanation for it?
Had it been perhaps God who had me lead to that spot in the toilette?
But why?
After
a while, I was tired of thinking. So I put my hands behind my neck and
stared at the the wall with the blackboard in front of me. It was bathed
in moonlight. “Don`t worry!”, I said to myself. In any case, I was a
Christian now! So what could happen? I calmed down.
The schoolroom reminded me of my own school days. OK, so it had not
always been good times, but in spite of that, the room gave me a feeling
of a familiar assurance. Especially the moonlight had a soothing effect
on me.
Suddenly my eyes were fixed on the wall in front of me, and what I saw now. made me shiver. In a game of shadows, a combination of the filtered moonlight and the shadows of the window panes' framing, on the wall in front of me was readable: tot (dead).
For
a moment I laid there horror-stiken, then I jumped up and rushed over
to Mike`s sleeping bag, shaking him awake. He looked at me with a
perplexed look. “What`s the matter?", he asked.
“Sorry,
Mike,” I said, “ but strange things have happened. Please let me show
you." He got out of his sleeping bag and followed me to the middle of
the room. I pointed to the wall, where the word tot was still visible,"Look at this! Do you see it?" He nodded slowly.
Then he
followed me into the toilette, where I showed him the writing on the
wall. I explained him what immense meaning that sentence had for me. He
understood it immediately. Then he said. "Okay, let us go out and pray!"
Outside
on the floor we chose a corner and Mike began to pray, "Dear Lord, we
do not know what is going on here! But Heiner is now your child and
under your protection. Therefore, we pray, that these attacks are
stopped now. Please let Heiner sleep till morning without fear and
another interruption! Amen!" "Amen!" I agreed.
We went back to our sleeping bags and after five minutes I fell asleep. The rest of the night I slept soundly and without any interruption.
Within
15 minutes we were sitting in Uli`s car driving to my flat. After his
prayer Mike had said, "I think we should clean your flat. The demons
will not go away voluntarily. We have to chase them out!” I had agreed.
He was the expert!
So
he had asked Uli for support and Uli had decided to come with us, "Such
things are dangerous and should never be done alone", he said to me.
It
was after midnight when we reached my flat. We calmly climbed the
stairs and went inside. Everything was as I had left it, I realized,
with some relief. Mike said, "Ok, it is late. Let’s start!" I sat down
in an armchair and Mike and Uli started praying in a low voice.
They
started to walk through my flat and began praying in low voices. I
watched them attentively and with a mixture of curiosity and worry.
Their voices became louder. Suddenly I heard Mike saying " Demons, we
command you to leave here immediately! In the name of Jesus: LEAVE!"
So,they
prayed at every spot in my flat and commanded the demons in loud and
harsh words to leave. For a few moments I feared they would wake up my
landlords in the apartment below, but then I forgot about them. It has to be done, I thought.
Mike
and Uli did their work seriously and I understood completely; this was
not a game. This was a fight and a serious confrontation with evil
spirits!
Suddenly,
their voices calmed down and their praying stopped. Mike came up to me
and said," I think, it is over now. Your flat is free of demons!"
"Hallelujah," said Uli, "Praise the Lord! He has started to do great
things in your life." "Thanks", I said thoughtfully.
"Before
we leave," Mike said, "we should remove all the things you used to
contact the demons. Do you agree?" I went to my cupboard and got
everything out of it; the small table with the pencil and all the
written papers. I laid all of it on the kitchen table. them and
“So many papers!?” said Mike and picked one them. It was that one where the "relatives" had
announced the death of Jürgen. He showed it to Uli and for a moment
both stared at it with incredulity. Then Mike laid it back to the
others.
"Anything else?”, Mike asked, ”What
about your esoteric books?" Again, I went to the cupboard and got all
esoteric literature out of it. Now, a large collection of papers and
books was piled on my kitchen table.
"Is
it okay with you if we take it with us and destroy it?" Mike asked.
"Yes, of course, please do!" I agreed and fetched two big garbage bags.
After a minute or two, both bags stood well-filled in front of us.
Mike
looked at his watch. "Okay,” he said, ”we have to leave now! Tomorrow
we have a hard day in front of us. So, Heiner, have a nice sleep!"
I was stunned. They wanted to leave me behind in the flat? "No!" I said. Both
looked at me with a surprised gaze. "No!" I repeated. "I cannot stay
here alone tonight. I would like to come with you. Is it possible?”
They
looked at each other and then Uli decided, "Okay! You have a sleeping
bag?" I nodded. "So take it and pack up some bathroom supplies. We shall
find a place for you in our camping school."
He
gave me an apologetic smile, "But there will be no comfort! You have to
sleep on the ground like the rest of us." I nodded, "No problem!"
Two minutes later we left my flat with the two garbage bags, my sleeping bag and a sport bag!
When
I came into the tea-room, I was surprised to find it almost empty. The
room was well furnished with tables and chairs, tablecloths, candles,
and baked goods. A nice young woman with short, red hair and freckles
gave me a cup of tea.
I
looked around, undecided what to do. At the end of the room two elderly
people were sitting, but for today, I had been dealing with enough
older people for one day! I remained standing near the young woman, but
said nothing.
Just
at that moment a young man of my age came in. He saw the woman behind
the counter and shouted joyfully, "Ah, Silke, good to see you!" She gave
him a pleasant smile and said: "Uli, you’re back in Germany? I heard
you had been on tours abroad with Youth With A Mission!"
The
young man now stood directly beside me at the counter, but ignored me.
"Yes, I’m back with my team to serve here at Church Days. But you are
right, I have been in Egypt!"
"In
Egypt?" she asked with enormous eyes. "I have heard that it is very
difficult to do mission work there. Difficult territory, isn’t it?"
He nodded: "Yes, you are right! Once we found ourselves in a room where I immediately sensed the presence of the occult powers!"
Till
this moment I had listened with casual interest, but now I interrupted
energeticly, "Excuse me. You said occult! What does that mean?"
They
both looked at me with surprise. The young man hesitated for a moment
and then he said, "Occult means things like magic, for example. But tell
me, why do you want to know this? Are you a Christian?"
I
smiled, "Yes, for just two hours! And I want to know whether or not I
am involved with occult things.” He did not bat an eyelash and said, "So
why do you think that you could be involved?”
I shrugged my shoulders "Well, I do not know exactly. For example, I am occupied with astrology, tarot and I also had contact with my dead relatives."
He raised his eyebrows and gave me his full attention." You had contact with your dead relatives? How did you do it? Pushing glasses?" I denied, "No, with a small table!" "Anyway," he said, "these are things that are not good!”
He
looked around. Meanwhile the room had filled with people. “Ah, there is
Mike!”, he said and pointed to a dark-haired man sitting alone in an
armchair. “ I would like to introduce you to him. He can answer you much
better than I can. Before he became a Christian, he was involved with
white magic."
We
walked up to him. Uli said to him, "Mike, here is a young man …” , he
interrupted and looked at me. “by the way, what is your name?” “Heiner”,
I said. He continued introducing me. “Heiner has become a Christian
today. He is not sure whether he is involved in occult things or not.
Could you tell him something about occultism!"
The man looked at me, then he nodded and said, "Please take a chair and sit down!"
Mike
was a good looking man with a symphatic voice. I estimated him possibly
at 35 years of age. So after having sat down he told me a little bit
about his magic experiences. At last, he said, "Well, this was before becoming a Christian. Today, I know that it was wrong."
Now
I started to tell him about my esoteric things and he listened without
looking at me. But when I mentioned the contact with my "relatives" he
suddenly looked right at me with a jolt and amazement! Then he said
slowly, "Did you really think that these were your dead relatives?" I was astonished, "Sure! I knew them since my childhood?"
He
shook his head. "No, these have not been your relatives! You have been
in contact with demons!" I was puzzled, "Demons? What s that?" Again he
looked straight into my eyes, "Evil spirits! The servants of the
Devil!"
In
the same moment I began to understand. It was as if a bright light had
illuminated my brain. "Evil spirits?", I repeated. "I have been in
contact with evil spirits all the time? My god!"
Of
course, this was the only possible explanation for the hard words at
the end of our contact. My relatives would never have talked to me in
such a way. But why did the evil spirits stop the contact? , I suddenly thought. Had I come to close to the truth?
"Well, let us pray!" Mike`s voice brought me back into the present.
Soon
the old man came back and gave me the promised book. It was about first
steps in faith. He said vividly "My wife wants to see you. So would you
come with me to meet her?" "Yes, why not?" I said, and we left the
room.
Two
minutes later I was again in the large hall where the rock concert had
taken place. This time it was only half-filled with people sitting and
standing, some of them talking with one another.
Carl
led me into one of the front rows, and then he suddenly stopped and
said, "This is my wife Margot!" And to her, who had now just risen from
her chair, "And this is Heiner, the young one, who has just become a
Christian!"
She,
perhaps 20 years younger than her husband, smiled heartily at me: "Ah,
you are the one! Welcome in faith! I am sure you will never regret it."
So,
I talked with her for a while, when suddenly from the stage in front of
us, singing voices and instruments could be heard. I looked up at it
with astonishment and saw some young men and women standing there, some
with guitars. In the back a young man was sitting behind a percussion.
Now,
singing began from the entire room. I may have looked puzzled, so
Margot said: "Ah, the church meeting has started. I hope you will stay!"
I
hesitated! To stay for a longer time in this place had not been my
intention. But the singing was very peaceful and joyous, showing good
harmony. Carl`s wife said "Later, there will also be preaching! You
should stay. You can learn so much from it!" And so I stayed!
The
singing went on. Many of the people were standing in front of their
seats, raising their arms into the air and singing enthusiastically with
closed eyes. "That`s called Worship of God!" whispered Margot.
Indeed,
the songs were mostly about God, Jesus or the Christian faith. But they
were totally different from those I knew from my youth. These songs
were here very simple and cheerful. I liked them immediately and after a
while, I joined in singing the texts, which were projected on a wall
behind the stage.
Suddenly,
maybe after half an hour, the whole assembly clapped their hands,
shouting: "Praise the Lord", "Hallelujah" or "Amen". Then after a
perhaps a minute the jubilation ebbed down and the whole assembly sat
down. The worship team left the stage.
The
room lights were dimmed leaving only the stage lights for illumination.
A man perhaps 35 years of age went up the stairs onto the stage. He
sported an impressive beard and held a big book in his right hand. "That
is the pastor of the Jesushouse!" said Margot. "He will preach now!"
He spoke slowly and with a soft voice. And he talked about a verse from the Bible: Except you are born again through water and spirit, you cannot see the Kingdom of God. (John 3,3)
It
was Nicodemus, a Jewish teacher, who had asked Jesus what were the
requirements for eternal life. And this was the answer he got from
Jesus.
The
pastor spoke over an hour about this theme in different variations.
But his central message was simple, "You have to be born again through
faith in Jesus. Otherwise you are lost forever!"
Honestly
spoken, I may have heard that message before, but never in such a
clarity! At some point of his sermon I realized that I was now a
born-again Christian, too! And I felt happy!
So
when he had ended with his preaching, there was soft music from a band
followed by a Pastor`s call for those who want to become a Christian:
"Today is the day, the Lord says. I have called you by your name. Do not
hesitate! Come forward and give me your life!"
It
needed some minutes before a considerable crowd of people had assembled
in front of the stage. Meanwhile a choir was singing softly in the
background and the pastor`s voice could be heard from time to time
saying "Thank you, Lord" and "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
At
last the choir stopped singing and after a moment of complete silence
the Pastor started praying. "Oh, God, you are great and very merciful.
And you see us standing here in front of you. Oh, Lord! Please look at
those who have followed your call and accept them as your followers as
you have promised. And please guide and protect them so they can grow in
faith. Watch over them, as we all know that the devil does not sleep in
his constant attempt to pull them away from their new faith. Oh, God,
you are so great and merciful and you love your children." And after a short, "Amen!" And all agreed, "Amen!"
Now,
the pastor smiled and said cheerfully:”I welcome you all in the family
of God. You are now a child of God, and He will guide and protect you.
Praise the Lord!” And again the whole assembly started clapping hands
and shouting cheerful proclamations.
At
last everything came to a conclusion and the pastor said, "The hour is
already late, so we finish now the official part of the assembly. But
you may stay here in the building and have a few extra moments to talk
with others, or to drink some tea in our tea-room."
Tea-room! That sounded like an excellent way to finish the day with a cup of tea in a relaxed manner. I started toward the exit.
I had gone some meters, when I suddenly heard the pastor`s voice again.
"Sorry,
I forgot to mention: For those, who want a personal prayer, please stay
here." I looked back. "Perhaps you have problems or you want confess
sins such as robbery, adultery or occultism! Or if you have another
reason, then please stay here. We shall pray with you!"
Occultism? What is that! I remembered, that I once had read in an esoteric store some book titles with that word. I hesitated and asked myself, Have I perhaps something to do with that occultism?
So, as I was about to go back in, I saw there were many people standing around the pastor already. No, I decided, I would have to wait too long.
An
idea came to mind and I thought it over. Then I bowed my head and said
in a low voice, "Jesus, this is my very first prayer as a Christian. If I
have anything to do with occultism, please let someone in the tea-room
start talking about it. Then I will know for sure that I have something
to do with it! Amen!"
Then I left the hall!
On
the first floor we walked into a small room. There were only a few
chairs inside and we sat down. Then I waited to see what would come
next. "Well," he suddenly said, "you can start with your prayer!"
Again,
he surprised me with his direct manner. But OK, he was right! We had
entered this to pray. I tried to concentrate, but I felt nothing other
than tiredness and loneliness. And then, suddenly, I began to weep! All
the burden of the last 27 hours seemed to be unloaded in that moment. It
had been all too much for me!
After a few moments more, I calmed down and my tears stopped. I said to Carl, "I cannot pray! I do not know what to say!"
The
old man did not comment about that, but said: "Well, God knows that! So
let us do it this way. I pray a sentence and you repeat it. So, it will
the same as if it had come directly from you. God knows your weakness
and will accept this.” And after a short pause he asked, “Can we start?" I nodded!
So, Carl began to pray: "Lord
Jesus, you see me sitting here in front of you with a troubled heart."
He paused, and I repeated the sentence. He went on: "You know me better
than I myself. Please forgive me that I have ignored you for so long."
How did he know that? Never mind. I repeated the sentence!
He
continued with closed eyes: "So, Jesus, I will now give my life into
your hands. Please forgive my sins and please take my life and lead me
from now on! I will follow you!"
What am I doing here? Giving Jesus my life, follow him ... do I really want that? Never mind, ...I can decide that later! I quickly thought to myself and repeated the words of the man.
"Amen!" he said and opened his eyes. "Amen!" I said and felt nothing.
We
stood up, he smiled and hugged me: "Now you are a child of God!" I said
nothing. "Wait, my wife has a book for beginners in faith. I will go
and get it." So he went out of the room and left me there alone.
I
sat back down in the chair. Different thoughts came into my mind. OK,
the old man had taken me by surprise. I hadn’t hadthe intention to give
Jesus my life so soon. But on the other, I am in big trouble and this may be a chance! So why not?
I felt that I had to make a decision. Would my prayer be valid or not? A serious question! So I thought it over for some seconds. What do I have to loose? Nothing! But perhaps much to win! Yes, I said in my heart, from my side it is valid. And immediately, I felt deep relief.
The
spoken sentence from the woman in the bookstore “The Lord will come
soon!” came into my mind. And suddenly I understood and knew with clear
certainty: It has been an announcement of the visit of the Lord Jesus! An announcement, which had now been fulfilled. The Lord had been here in this room a few minutes ago!
I walked
slowly downstairs feeling quite a bit uneasy. Meanwhile, the entrance
door had been opened and people were coming in and out. Just when I
wanted to leave the building I noticed an open door to the right. Over
it was written in black painted letters: BOOKSTORE
The remembrance came back to mind: Ah, I came into this building for drinking. Perhaps I will find here! And so I changed my direction and went in.
It
was a little shop with only a handful of people in it. I looked around
and at one end I saw something that looked like a concession stand with
coffee and cakes for sale.
A minute later I was standing
in the middle of the room, enjoying hot coffee and a sweet cake. I
started feeling better. Just a moment of peace in all that chaos!
Suddenly,
the woman who had served me turned around and looked directly at me
with penetrating, intensely blue eyes. Then she said calmly, "The Lord
will come soon!", and turned back to her work.
I stood there in profound puzzlement and shock, as if I had just been smacked in the chest with a sledgehammer. Who has spoken to me through her? I asked myself fearfully.
I felt frightened and confused all at the same time. The Lord will come soon,
she had said. Did it mean that I would have to die on this day? I felt
weak in my legs and searched for a place to sit down. So, I went through
a door that was opened outside to the street.
Surprisingly, the place directly in front of the Jesus-house was now filled with tables and chairs. Men and women were sitting at some of them, drinking coffee, and eating cakes.
I
sat down at the end of a table where a young couple and an old man were
talking intently with one another. It was good to hear friendly
conversation and warm voices. At least for a while I would be protected.
My thoughts went back:The Lord will come soon!
Who had moved her to say these words to me? And who was the “Lord”?
Could it be a message from my "relatives"? Or from someone else? I had
no answer.
Meanwhile
I had watched the old man talking passionately to the young couple, who
were listening to him with great interest. He spoke with such fervour
and enormous detail that he seemed to be trying to convince them of
something.
A strange thought or wish took shape in my mind Perhaps it would help me if I could talk with him. But immediately doubts came up. Could anyone help in this frightening situation?
Just
at that moment all three stood up sharing friendly amusement and
handshakes and then the young couple walked away hand in hand. Suddenly,
the man and I were alone.
He
stood quietly at the other corner of the table. Now, he looked in my
direction. It took some seconds before he seemed to have made his
decision. Then he walked around the table, "Hello! My name is Carl.
Sorry for asking, but is something troubling you?"
I
was a little bit surprised by his direct manner of addressing me. Was
my face an open book for anyone to read? He looked serious yet friendly,
and I began to feel confidence in him. “Well, you may be right!", I
answered. And again I was surprised by his next question: "Do you know
our Lord Jesus Christ?"
Normally,
I would have stopped our conversation right then, but it was no
“normal” day! It was perhaps the day of my death! I needed someone to
talk, some help!
Thoughtfully, I answered, "Yes, naturally I know Jesus! But presumably not in the way you mean it!" He nodded sympathetically: "Should we pray together?"
I kept silence for a moment! Praying? When have I prayed the last time? In my childhood? I could not remember exactly. But, why not? I looked around. Some people were still scattered at some of the other tables: "Yes," I answered, "but not here!"
He made an inviting gesture in the direction of the entrance of the
Jesus-house: "They have a little prayer room there where we can be
alone!" I stood up and we walked inside together.
I
did not know what to do. Deep inside I felt a kind of increasingly
oppressive fear. Things had somehow gotten far out of control. My
immediate thought now was to retrieve my bicycle. It had remained near
the Greek from the night before. Therefore, I went to the next bus station to get there.
While
waiting for the bus, another heavy rain shower came down with thunder
and lightning as during the night. And within minutes a four inch deep
muddy stream of water flooded the street. It looked like a small river
of mud. Never in my life I had seen such a thing! Even the elements
seemed to be getting out of control.
Five
minutes later the spookiness of the scene had disappeared and things
began to seem normal again. The street remained covered here and there
with watery mud but it was not hindering the traffic. Some minutes later
the bus came and I got on.
In a little while I reached the Greek place and
opened the lock of my bicycle. Then I rode in the direction of the Old
Town! I longed for the reassuring presence of people. Being among fellow
humans, I would perhaps feel safer. At least so I hoped.
When
I reached the "Old Town" of Duesseldorf, it was almost the same as
always. The visitors of the "Church days" were only sporadically seen
and most of the stands had not yet opened. So I went to my favorite pub
and looked to see if any of my acquaintances were there.
But
nobody was. Only some backgammon players were active. I watched them
playing their games without interest and waited. But nobody came."Where
are the others?" I asked when there was a lull in their activity. One
of them shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don’t know! It’s the
holidays. Maybe they’ll come later!"
"Holiday?
What holiday?" I asked. I could not remember a special day. "Ah, a
clerical one. Don’t know. Perhaps Corpus Christi!" "Happy carcass," said
the other and both laughed. Then they started a new game.
It
was enough for me. I could not stand to watch any longer and went back
outside. Aimlessly, I walked through a small alley. What should I do?
Meanwhile
I had calmed down. Normal surroundings and familiar sights had provided
a good balm for my nerves. I decided to ride back home.
I
was just leaving the inner city, when I suddenly felt a great thirst.
So I immediately stopped my bicycle and looked for a business or a
kiosk.
On the other side of the street in the distance I could see a super-market. I
watched the entrance of the super-market: No one going in, and no one
going out! Suddenly I remembered what the backgammon player had said. Corpus Christi, which holiday would be today.
I looked around for a kiosk. Nothing!
But my thirst was still there. And it was so strong that I couldn’t
think of anything else. In some distance I saw people standing in front
of the door of a big house. What were they waiting for?
My eyes followed along the green front of the building and stopped at some big orange letters :
Jesus Christus is the Way, the Truth and the Life
(John 14.6)
For a moment I was stunned. Again that Bible verse! I looked higher to the top of the building and there spelled out in huge letters: JESUS-HOUSE
And
suddenly, I remembered the night with Frank, the young man in the park,
who had wanted to commit suicide. We had stood talking in the exact
spot where these people were now waiting. His words came back to me.
“Inside is a tea-room. Here we can get tea and biscuits.”
This might be a chance,
I thought and decided to give it a try! So I locked my bicycle at a
lamppost and went to the entrance. I had just grasped the bar of the big
glass door, when suddenly a hand was laid on my arm. "You can’t go in
there," said a friendly young man perhaps 25 years old but with a
determined voice.
I took my hand from the glass door and stared at him with an uncomprehending glance. "Ah, sorry! Why not?"
"There
is a concert going on in there by a Christian pop group. The hall is
completely filled. We are not allowed to let any more come in!" He
directed me with his hand on my back: "Look at all the people out here.
They are waiting, too! Only if someone comes out, someone new can go
in."
I
looked at the waiting people, who were also staring peculiarly and with
some unfriendliness at me. I turned around to the young man, "And who
you are?"
He
remained friendly. "I am a member of the Jesus-house and at this moment
I’m working with Jan," and indicated another young man standing on the
other side of the door, "the doorkeeper!"
I looked from him to the other one and back again "Listen," I said, "I am not interested in the concert. I am just thirsty and only want something to drink. So please let me in!"
For
a moment he looked silently at me and then he suddenly said, "OK! Come
in! But only you!" He opened the door a little bit and I slipped in.
I could hear behind me loud and angry protests from the waiting crowd. Doesn’t matter, I thought, I am in.
Walking
upstairs I heard hard rock music from above. I followed the noise.
Suddenly, after climbing more stairs, I stood in front of a big open
door. Deafening loud noise came from within. Nevertheless I walked inside.
Now I saw that the doorkeeper hadn`t
exaggerated. The large half-darkened hall room was completely filled
with hundreds of mainly young people, standing in the seat rows and
beside, making cheerful, crazy noise.
Some
were dancing and clapped uncontrolled with their hands, especially the
young folks directly in front of the stage at the end of the room. On
the stage, fully spotted by big headlamps, gave a band of five musicians
their “best”, heating the folks permanently. Luckily I discovered a
free place next to the wall and leaned against it.
Well , I didn`t like such noisy mass events in general, but I also wasn`t in a cheerful mood. So, very soon I drifted away into the realm of my private thoughts.
I thought about Jürgen and the terrible threat from my "relatives". “If you ever try to get in contact with us again, something terrible will happen!“ Why had they threatened me in such a terrifying way? What had I done wrong?
I couldn`t find any answer. It didn`t make any sense. Or a sense I couldn`t see. So, I tried to relax and forget about it.
Now,
the lead singer on the stage was almost flipping out and the screaming
of the crowd reached an almost unbearable level. This brought me back
into reality. Was I really in a church?
Suddenly on
the stage and in the room all movement stopped. The lead singer took a
microphone and started talking "The love of Jesus is the greatest power
in the world and in heaven!" he said. Then he shouted, "He is the King of all kings! He is my Savior! Hallelujah!" All over the room came cheerful agreements and "Hallelujah!" and “Amen”.
This man called Jesus his Savior? I was surprised! "I
was a sinner," I heard him saying, "but Jesus saved my life!" He made a
significant pause, and then with an outstretched arm to the audience, "And he wants save your life also!" Again the room was filled with shouts of “Amen” and “Hallelujah!”
I
was just trying to figure out, how his flipping-out behavior and Jesus
could go together, when the hard rock noise started again. I couldn`t
stand any longer and left the hall quickly!
Early in the morning I
got up feeling dizzy and restless. But I wanted clarity about Juergen’s
fate! So, I set up the devices for a new meeting with the "relatives"
on the kitchen table and sat down with a cup of tea.
When I laid my hand on the mini-table it began to move immediately. I could read on the fresh,white sheet of paper, Hello_Heiner_how_are_you_Willi_is_here
At
once I felt better. But this time I was not in the mood for small talk.
So I asked directly, "Has Jürgen died?" The mini-table moved again: Yes_he_is_now_here_with_us!
I took a deep breath. Then I said, "OK, so I want to play the promised game of chess with him. You remember?"
There was a small pause. Then came the answer:
Yes_I_remember!_But_right_now_that_is_not_possible_He_had a_hard_and_long_struggle_of_death_and _is_very_exhausted
I
was dumbfounded. Normally I would have thought that after the death of
the body everything would be okay in the other world. Obviously not! Suddenly a trembling writing became visible on the big sheet of paper: Hello_Heiner! Joy arose in my heart. It is Jürgen! I thought.
"Hello
Jürgen! Good to know you are on the other side with my relatives." I
smiled. "So you have time to recover till tomorrow. We shall play a game
of chess then, and”, I joked, “you will loose as always! So bye till
tomorrow."
I waited for a moment, but there came no answer. So, I got up from the table and poured myself another cup of tea.
When I returned to the
kitchen table I felt relieved. Now it was clear that Jürgen was with
my "relatives". And he was accessible and we could stay in contact. Will he play stronger chess now than before? I smiled! I shall see tomorrow!
The evening before came to mind and young Christian`s words: Jesus is the only way to God!
Again, I began to feel a little bit uneasy. "Is it really true that
Jesus is the only way to God!" I asked into the empty room.
The small table began to move again and in a few seconds I could read the answer: Jesus_ is_ one_ way_ to_ God_ but_there_are many_others_too
Ah, that`s it! I thought. Jesus was one,
but not the only way to God. I was satisfied now and stopped thinking
about that question. So I changed the subject and chatted on with "Uncle
Willi".
After a while he
suddenly started talking about another friend of mine and said
something surprising. Not only surprising, but bewildering as well, and I
knew that it was wrong.
So I stood up and started walking up and down in my flat. Nervously I thought, It isn`t true! But Uncle Willi should know this. They seem to know almost everything. So why is he saying this to me?
I was confused! Slowly I went back to the kitchen table and said: "Please_tell_me! What_is_going_on_here?"
The
answer came immediately. The mini-table and pencil scribbled over the
sheet of paper as it had never done before. I could feel, before reading
the text, a vehement emotion behind it. I stared at the text on the paper: IF_YOU_CALL_US_AGAIN_SOMETHING_TERRIBLE_WILL
_HAPPEN!
I was totally shaken! Frozen to the spot, I
stood in the middle of the room and felt waves of silent horror running
through my body. Confusing thoughts washed over my mind.
At
last, I walked back and forth in my living room trying to silence this
sense of terror, and finally laid down on the sofa. No matter. I was
unable to quiet my nerves, this dense feeling of oppression.
What was going on? Again
and again this question pestered me. I could not come across any
reasonable answer. After a few more minutes, I stood up abruptly, got my
jacket, and left the flat.